Attachment History

Everyone has a dominant attachment style, which explains a person’s attitude on love and its importance for survival on this earth. It's interesting how many of us choose a life partner whose attachment style is the exact opposite of their own. This is why I ask about your relationship with your parents and their relationship with each other because it’s where you first learn about love and what you think it’s “supposed” to look like.

Stress and Mental Health

Believe it or not, stress has a lot to do with how you show up to your partner. Modern day life, with jobs, kids, traffic, etc., is very stressful, and evolutionally, humans were not meant to live such stressful lives. Interestingly, modern-day advances have made our lives both more convenient and stressful at the same time. Many people believe they deal with stress well, but actually, they’re just suppressing it, numbing it out, or pretending like it doesn’t exist. So stress leaks out in sneaky ways, such as getting frustrated with your partner or zoning out when your partner is talking to you. So we need to talk about why you are living such a stressed-out life and how you can better manage your mental health and the stress of everyday life.

Communication Style

Research has shown that couples don’t break up because of their problems, but rather how they talk about their problems. Are you clear and truthful with your partner about your feelings? Or is there an edge in your voice because you believe your partner is to blame for your issues? Does your voice rise because you’re trying to hide the shame you feel about how you don't measure up? Do you stay quiet and then feel resentful afterwards because you’re afraid to speak up? There are many reasons why people are not direct and honest in their communication, and we need to understand why so you can feel more comfortable practicing health assertion in your relationship.